Wednesday, July 14, 2010

How’d The Weekly World News Miss THIS?!....

Usually this is the kind of story that The Weekly World News specializes in, right along side those pictures of the President of the U.S. posing for a photo shoot with a space alien.

Apparently the WWN has been scooped by The People’s Daily in China, which has reported that the Taliban is “training monkeys to use weapons to attack American troops.”

The Pakistan Defense Forum, which has pictures of gun-toting monkeys, has made the wild claim that a monkey-soldier program was first launched by the CIA in Vietnam, noting ruefully that, “Today, the Taliban forces have given the American troops some of their own medicine.”

And YES, these monkey jihadists are apparently “being rewarded with bananas and peanuts.” WoW! Snipers who literally work for peanuts...or bananas, a jihadist’s dream!

Maybe the jihadists haven’t looked into WHY the CIA’s “monkey soldier program was disbanded.” The CIA found that (1) monkeys tend to be unreliable, easily distracted and irritable when hungry AND (2) they are prone to agitation and disorientation when bananas are thrown into their midst by enemy forces.

In short, they just absolutely SUCKED at guerilla/gorilla warfare!


Skunkfeathers said...

We made a monkey out of 'em, eh?

JMK said...

Somehow I knew it'd be you who came up with first primate joke...but yes, we sure did, although I hear some of those baboons really showed the Taliban how to wage "gorilla warfare."

You know what I say, right?

When dealing with a pack of monkey jihadists, "Beware the banana gun!"

That'll learn them Taliban dopes.

WomanHonorThyself said...

good grief my friend! hope alls well with u and yours..ltns!

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