A fine blogger (Don @ AttorneyMom - pictured right) posted this humorous email and I had to remark on it and have since decided to post that email and my reply, as well. NOTE: the email wasn't Don's thoughts and they ARE indeed humorous. My response is about the underlying theme of the email and not Don's reposting of it. These are NOT Don's ideas, it's merely his posting of this humorous email that made me think....and I'm glad it did.
Often, many misanthropic ideas are spread through humor and there’s few ideas that are more misanthropic in nature than the anti-freedom, anti-business, anti-private sector viewpoint that is much the rage today.
In a bygone era, when I was in College, anti-freedom misanthropes were a little more direct and upfront in their assault on freedom and liberty, as was the case with the noted author and behavioral psychologist B.F. Skinner who wrote, Beyond Freedom and Dignity in the early 1970s.
Today such ideas are passed on in humor.
Budget Cuts (author unknown)
EFFECTIVE SEPTEMBER 1, 2008 NEW OFFICE POLICY
Often, many misanthropic ideas are spread through humor and there’s few ideas that are more misanthropic in nature than the anti-freedom, anti-business, anti-private sector viewpoint that is much the rage today.
In a bygone era, when I was in College, anti-freedom misanthropes were a little more direct and upfront in their assault on freedom and liberty, as was the case with the noted author and behavioral psychologist B.F. Skinner who wrote, Beyond Freedom and Dignity in the early 1970s.
Today such ideas are passed on in humor.
Budget Cuts (author unknown)
EFFECTIVE SEPTEMBER 1, 2008 NEW OFFICE POLICY
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Dress Code:
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1) You are advised to come to work dressed according to your salary.
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2) If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we will assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a raise.
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3) If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a raise.
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4) If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a raise.
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Sick Days:
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We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
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Personal Days:
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Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturdays & Sundays.
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Bereavement Leave:
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This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend the funeral arrangements in your place. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
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Bathroom Breaks:
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Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the stalls. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract,the stall door will open, and a picture will be taken. After your second offense,your picture will be posted on the company bulletin board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sectioned under the company's mental health policy.
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Lunch Break:
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Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more, so that they can look healthy.
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Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
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Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
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Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide positive employment experience. Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
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The Management
(posted by Don @ Character Corner Blog on Monday, August 25th http://charactercorner.blogspot.com/)
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(posted by Don @ Character Corner Blog on Monday, August 25th http://charactercorner.blogspot.com/)
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My REPLY:
It really IS indeed a very amusing email Don, BUT think of it, there are still so many people who are all to willing to believe that this is what private sector employment is really all about.
In fact, private sector employment IS indeed "produce or perish," but that's the way of the business world too - it's a competitive world out there.
Ironically enough, not many people associate such abuses with government.
Think about that dichotomy for just a second....
At the dawn of the 20th Century, Henry Ford raised worker's salaries to increase productivity and produce and sell more cars.
Government didn't direct him to do that, in fact, today, other industry leaders would petition the government to reign in a modern-day Henry Ford for "undercutting their ability to compete,” and an army of government officials would assail Mr. Ford for “unfair business practices.”
Moreover, think about the very worst abuses ever conducted throughout man's history.....
It wasn't business and industry that perpetrated those things, it was ALWAYS and EVERYWHERE governments, form Hitler's Germany, to Mao's China, to Stalin's Russia to Pol Pot's Cambodia, the worst abuses the greatest mass murder sprees ever conducted where conducted by governments.
There are others who point to religion as the "cause of most of mankind's woes."
Once again, NOT SO!
In every case of theocratic repression it was government that perverted religion and NOT the reverse.
I don't mean to be a killjoy, but such "jokes" have a very misguided underlying current - "The private sector is abusive and repressive."
IF you want to see REAL abuse, abuse that's not at all funny, look at the history of human government on this earth.
My REPLY:
It really IS indeed a very amusing email Don, BUT think of it, there are still so many people who are all to willing to believe that this is what private sector employment is really all about.
In fact, private sector employment IS indeed "produce or perish," but that's the way of the business world too - it's a competitive world out there.
Ironically enough, not many people associate such abuses with government.
Think about that dichotomy for just a second....
At the dawn of the 20th Century, Henry Ford raised worker's salaries to increase productivity and produce and sell more cars.
Government didn't direct him to do that, in fact, today, other industry leaders would petition the government to reign in a modern-day Henry Ford for "undercutting their ability to compete,” and an army of government officials would assail Mr. Ford for “unfair business practices.”
Moreover, think about the very worst abuses ever conducted throughout man's history.....
It wasn't business and industry that perpetrated those things, it was ALWAYS and EVERYWHERE governments, form Hitler's Germany, to Mao's China, to Stalin's Russia to Pol Pot's Cambodia, the worst abuses the greatest mass murder sprees ever conducted where conducted by governments.
There are others who point to religion as the "cause of most of mankind's woes."
Once again, NOT SO!
In every case of theocratic repression it was government that perverted religion and NOT the reverse.
I don't mean to be a killjoy, but such "jokes" have a very misguided underlying current - "The private sector is abusive and repressive."
IF you want to see REAL abuse, abuse that's not at all funny, look at the history of human government on this earth.
Hilarious e-mail! And a spot on rejoinder from you, my friend. The private sector is not a hotbed of repression and abuse. Although the bathroom rules did remind me of a place I used to work (we didn't get our pictures taken, thank God!). :)
ReplyDeleteIt really IS a very funny email Seane-Anna!
ReplyDeleteAs to those bathroom rules....I think that could've set up a litigation liability on the part of that company Seane-Anna.
I know there have always been ad bosses. That's true enough in BOTH the public and private sector, but the late, great Milton Friedman always said, "When a businessman runs amok, he impacts maybe a few thousand workers at most, and that's if he's running a hge enterprise, but when a government runs amok, it can very negatively impact millions of people, often in very lethal ways."